Over and Over
by shirozora
Summary: [Oneshot][SHIRT] All he had ever wanted was her attention and a way off the islands. One year later, he’s come back home but what about her? [onesided Kaiku]


**Author's Note:** I like challenges. Here's my first one. Thank goodness for an interesting contest like SHIRT. One-sided Kaiku, anyone? Enjoy.

**Copyrights**: Characters, settings, and storyline are copyrighted by Square-Enix and Disney. CSI: Las Vegas is really distracting and I'm losing it. Uh…drabble. Yeah.

**Disclaimer:** All he had ever wanted was her attention and a way off the islands. One year later, he's come back home but what about her?

**Over and Over**

_- A One-sided Kaiku - _

Angel in flight.

That's what he saw, when he watched her run across the pale beach, a cloud of white sand rising up behind her as she splashed into the shallows of the blue sea. He smiled faintly, could feel the exuberance, the joy. The smile held steady even as he watched his friend follow her, splash in after her. His friend was laughing; the sounds rang out over the cry of seagulls as he grabbed her by the waist and they toppled into the waves. Indignant, the waves rushed over them and they came up, sputtering and laughing even harder. And then they shared a long, long kiss.

Riku sighed. He's seen enough. Time to find something else to do. The angel wasn't his alone to watch anymore.

He turned his torso and scrambled to his feet. He brushed grass blades off his pants, picked up the textbook he was speed-reading through, and began a slow descent down the hill where he had been perched for the last several hours, trying like Sora to catch up on school.

Coming home was the greatest reward but he didn't think he'd be thrown back into normalcy so fast. His parents _grounded_ him for _running away_ for a whole year, and Riku really didn't have the heart to tell them that he had spent the year risking his life for theirs. He didn't want an emotional breakdown from them that could potentially give them heart attacks or something.

He didn't want to share with anyone his experiences, his story. Only those who knew he could talk to. There was no way he could talk to Tidus or Wakka or Selphie about his nightmarish experiences in the darkness, amongst the evil, and his fight to rise from his fall from grace.

There was only one who saved him then, when he was sinking, fading away into the night. Only one who saved his sanity. And he would never tell her. He would never tell anyone about his little secret. His angel.

Kairi.

Riku felt the jolt of each heavy footstep as he descended from the hill. He felt terribly confused; even the mere thought of Kairi led him to hate himself even more than the minute before. She was such a beautiful, kind, pure figure, an ethereal being with azure eyes. She was his savior, even after he brought about their downfall because of his young love for her. He had been the bringer of their yearlong nightmare yet she told him she had been waiting for him to come home. She didn't care that he had done such hurtful things, had been so full of hate for Sora because of what Sora could do and what he couldn't. Kairi was forgiving of his sins. He still couldn't understand why.

_What did you see in me, Kairi, that nobody else could? Why did you keep faith in me? I know even Sora had his doubts but you…you kept holding onto me. Why?_

Maybe he'll never know-

"Riku! Where have you been?"

Two dripping grinning faces exploded in his view and Riku quickly scrambled backwards and away. Then he realized who they were and sighed in relief.

"Don't give me a heart attack, guys. I'm too young to die," he said while Sora laughed and Kairi smiled. Riku shivered, decided to focus on Sora. "So what are you two up to?"

Sora shrugged, crossed his arms behind his head as he walked around in a strange seesaw waltz around him. What made it even weirder for Riku was that he could kind of see over the top of Sora's head; no matter the years, Riku was still taller. He could see Kairi giggling. She was dripping with seawater, her long red hair – it's gotten longer – streaming over her shoulders. He pulled his eyes away, looked at Sora again, and scowled.

"Sora, what are you doing?" he demanded as his best friend fell over his feet. The brunet sat up, rubbing his head and grinning in embarrassment.

"Nothing-"

"Ya! Sora! Over here!"

Riku looked in the direction of the voice, saw Wakka waving at the three as the redhead ran up, blitzball in hand.

"Game?"

Sora jumped up. "You're on!"

"Awesome, man!" Wakka said. He then looked at Riku. "What about you?"

Riku shook his head, suddenly felt the book in his hand. "Nah…I gotta finish my reading. I don't want my parents grounding me any more than they already did."

Wakka nodded, looked at him sympathetically. "Okay then…what about you, Kairi?"

Before he could stop himself, he looked at Kairi. She stood there, looking thoughtful for a few moments, then shook her head. "No, Wakka. Not today."

"Okay then…but you're missing out, I promise you that," Wakka said, wagging his finger at them. Sora wrapped his arm around his friend's shoulders, looked at Riku and said, "Be back later! Let's go!"

The two ran off to join Tidus and Selphie, who were down at the beach and talking in rather animated fashion. Riku watched them go, didn't even feel the slightest remorse at being unable to join them. Oh he could have ditched the schoolbooks for once and run off to play blitzball but something held him back, kept him from doing so.

His angel was near. He knew she's have something to say if he did-

"Wow, so you're really going to go home and catch up?" Kairi asked while Riku sighed and sat down on the grass. He winced at the impact, then looked up at her and shook his head.

"No, Kairi. I'm…I'm gonna read. I don't want my parents busting me again."

"Riku, why don't you tell them-"

He shook his head, cut her off. "No."

Kairi sighed, then sat down next to him. Riku held firm, didn't flinch as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Riku, what's wrong? Why are you acting like this? This isn't like you, Riku. How many times have I told you already; it's not your fault. You didn't cause any of this. You didn't make all those things happen. You were like me, like Sora. We're just pieces of it, pieces of a greater thing. Don't think you were at fault for everything because you're not. You never were."

"That's…" How come Kairi won't get it? Won't she ever understand? "Kairi, if things were different – if I were different, I would be the Keyblade Master. Sora would be…a normal kid. A normal teenager. I put him up for this. I forced him to do things I should have been doing. And you. I-I put you in danger…I almost got you killed. I almost got him killed. I almost killed himself. Don't you get it, Kairi? I nearly killed the three of us. I don't even know why I bother to stay here, with you two, with the other guys. I opened up this world to the Heartless because I…I wanted to escape this _boring_ world. Heh, and this is what happens…"

His eyes burned. Riku looked away, blinked furiously. But his vision was blurring. He could feel them, feel them form at the corners of his eyes and all the blinking in the world couldn't stop them, wouldn't stop them.

"Riku…" Kairi murmured. Her hand gripped his shoulder tightly. "Riku, please…look at me."

"No," he whispered, winced as the first tear fell. "No…I…I don't deserve it."

He didn't feel like he deserved to be near his angel. But all his book-reading, all his focus on high school, even his parents' punishments weren't enough to keep her away. She kept coming back, kept haunting him. It didn't help that she was so close with his best friend that they were inseparable. It didn't help that she was so well known around town. And it most certainly didn't help that deep down inside, he adored her, loved her with all his heart. With all that was left of his heart.

"Riku…I know you want to be alone but…just…just listen to me, okay? The reason why I'm not letting you go like you think I should…is because I really care for you. You're one of my closest friends, and I never let any of my friends sink to the level you're sinking now. I know you couldn't resist the temptation but that's true of all humans. I know what temptation is, too. Even Princesses of Heart can't escape what being a human is like. But you have to understand that it's not your fault you felt that way. Don't judge too harshly on what you've done. I'll still love you, no matter your flaws. Think on it, Riku. Please…"

He bowed his head, closed his eyes tightly as another tear fell. Had she really said that? Had she really told him that she'll love him for all he's done? Why did she care so much?

"Thank you…" he whispered long after her hand left, long after her footsteps faded away, and the laughter and shouts of the blitzball match down at the beach gave way to the softer lulling of the rippling ocean.

He blinked, opened his eyes, then wiped away his dried tears. Riku sighed, rose to his feet shakily, tested his step before walking home, knowing his parents were going to have something to say to him.

But that was okay. Even through their lecturing, he'll think about what she said. What his angel said.

Over and over. Forever and ever.

"Thank you…Kairi."

**Author's Endnote:** Good? Bad? So-so? I never dreamt of writing anything relating to Riku so here we go! Please review; I'd love to know how well I wrote this one.


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